Law and Order, Dubai Style

A tabloid-y newspaper here called "7 Days" recently ran a story entitled, "Top 10 Laws to Remember." Here they are, some more interesting than others, reproduced in part by little old transcriber moi...

#1 - "License to Imbibe" - "We all know about those places you can go to buy alcohol if you don't have a liquor license, but the fact of the matter is that, if you want to enjoy a few drinks in Dubai, you should really have a 'red card.'"

(Editorial note: Daddy is currently in the process of trying to get us a liquor license so that we can legally have wine at the house if/when we have to entertain work people, but it's such a production; just today I got a call from the liquor authorities saying that Daddy's application has been rejected because it is missing a signature from his company representative. Sheesh, Daddy, hurry up: THESE CHILDREN ARE DRIVING ME TO DRINK.)

#2 - "Crimes of Cohabitation" - "It's one that is not often enforced, but since we're talking about laws to remember, it seems fitting to mention the one that outlaws unmarried couples living together . . . . If you are worried about the risk, . . . the choice is to go and get married, or live apart."

(Editorial note: Sucks for college kids.)

#3 - "Illegitimate Bumps" - "Getting pregnant if you are not married is a big no-no here. If you are having your prenatal checkups at a government hospital, you will be asked for your marriage certificate when you register. If you are at a private clinic, you won't have to show your marriage certificate until the baby is born. Either way, you need to have that crucial piece of paper before giving birth here, or you could end up with more than sleepless nights."

(Editorial note: SERIOUSLY?? What if the guy knocks you up but won't marry you?)

#4 - "Remain Orderly" - "Drinking in public view (unless you are at a licensed venue or event) is illegal, so don't take your six-pack down to the creek for a sundowner. Being drunk and disorderly in public is against the law no matter where you are."

(Editorial note: Just ask those Brits who were famously drunk and hooking up on the beach.)

#5 - "Keep the Loving in Check" - "Holding hands is nice and won't land you in any trouble, but think twice before kissing, hugging and other displays of affection. It may be acceptable in some places (like in airport lounges), but it has known to get people into bother, particularly if the hugging and kissing is on the more amorous side. Beware in nightclubs: a seemingly innocent kiss, even between married couples, can result in a bouncer giving you a warning."

(Editorial note: Hugging??)

#6 - "Bounce into Jail" - "Whereas in other countries, bouncing a check is usually seen as a civil offense (unless you are found to be doing it frequently and fraudulently), here in the UAE it is a criminal offense and can result in jail time."

(Editorial note: This doesn't worry me as much, seeing as we don't have a bank account here yet. In fact, I haven't handled a check since November '08.)

#7 - "Don't Have One for the Road" - "It goes without saying that drinking and driving is illegal. But what many people fail to understand is that there is no such thing as a safe, legal limit when it comes to drinking and driving here. Even a sip of wine or a strong brandy pudding can put you over the limit, because the limit is zero. If you are driving, you should stick to soft drinks."

(Editorial note: "Hello, Dad? I am in jail. When they pulled me over, my blood / brandy pudding level was 0.8%.")

#8 - "Over the Counter but Outside the Law" - "Codeine is widely available in over the counter medications in countries like the UK, and Temazepam is a commonly prescribed sleep aid. However, they are illegal substances in the UAE, and possessing them could result in arrest. You can't buy them here, but it's a good idea to tell your overseas visitors not to stock up . . . before they arrive. If they do need these medications, they should carry a doctor's prescription, translated into Arabic if possible."

(Editorial note: I will go to prison before I unhand my TylenolPM!!)

#9 - "Respect Ramadan" - "In the UAE, it is illegal to eat, drink, or smoke in public view during Ramadan fasting hours. 'In public view' includes your car, the beach, and even the gym. You should not chew gum either. Many restaurants have closed off sections where you can eat lunch out of sight, and most offices set up an area where non-Muslims can eat and drink during the day."

(Editorial note: Unlawful gum chewing??)

#10 - "Look Mum, No Hands"- "It's one of the most widely flouted laws in the history of the legal system, but it is absolutely illegal to drive while talking on your mobile."

(Editorial note: Oops.)

So there they are... did any of them surprise you?